Allergic to Alcohol and thoughts on WTC

Okay, listen to this: I am such a hammerhead that people have begun using me as a point of reference whilst describing their own level of drunkenness. For instance, I've caught wind of statements like "remember Adri at (some place, some time), I was, like, drunker than that". Also, a woman who was in attendance at a recent wedding at which I played the role of "bridesmaid" came up to me the night after, visibly, ahem, blotto, and said "Okay remember you last night? (No.) I'm almost there right now!".

Jesus.

Anyway, the summer is finally coming to a close and I might be the only one, but I feel thankful. I've had it with drinking, smoking cigarettes and pot, eating bbq type food like chips and potato salad, going away for weekends and weeks at a time and not practicing yoga, and just generally succumbing to the notion that I must always be doing something, and not just something, something fantastically fun. Yeah. This has got to end, as I've proved to myself and everyone around me that I don't have any self control, if I'm not the last one standing at a party it's because I've passed out drunk (not sure which one is worse), and I fear if September 1st doesn't roll around soon I'll spiral completely out of control. I still have to go camping in Osoyoos for the labour day long weekend and I'm in Calgary at the beginning of October - oh yeah, there's also my birthday just prior to that...in any case, I'll use these occasions as practice for drinking less instead of more than everyone else, a game I invented recently in order to salvage myself from liver poisoning.

I haven't worked out the kinks yet, but by the time Halloween hits, I should be a seasoned pro!

Anyway, I don't usually chronicle the boring events of my day-to-day existence (do I?), but I just got back from watching the somewhat preposterously titled World Trade Center and I have a few comments.

First of all, I would hate to be Ann Coulter and lay insult upon anything or anyone pertaining to 9/11 besides the terrorists responsible, but I wish someone had told me that a solid half of this blatantly "feel good" vehicle (or it felt like half) showed a couple of severely injured Port Authority police officers trapped in the rubble, amidst smoke, falling rock and projectile fireballs, having an ongoing, if stilted, "will we live or will we die" conversation.

Did Oliver Stone honestly imagine that this best captured the essence of the tragedy, or that it would appeal in any way, shape or form to the thousands of people that actually lost loved ones? Living in the west and in modern times, as we do, 9/11 is currently among the highest scale atrocities we have personally witnessed. I mean, it wasn't a terrible movie, but for what it's worth, it could have and should have been 1000 times better. Otherwise, it should have been called Will and John and been released at least 5 years after the World Trade Center of my dreams, a movie that would have the respect to not give the audience the idiot treatment, and the power to tug gently on our heartstrings and play softly to our emotions instead of force feeding us an extremely incomplete summary of the events with a fucking happy ending. Please. The victims deserved at least a bittersweet ending, and we didn't even get that. Honest to goodness, this was as warm and fuzzy as they come. A movie chronicling the events of September 11th, 2001. Honestly! We even caught a couple glimpses of Jesus Christ himself if you can believe it.

I understand the technique of focusing on a few main characters in order to avoid excessive complexity - creating a diorama, if you will. The story of the rescue was amazing and at least worthy of book or a part of the movie, but SO MUCH, so very, very much, was simply omitted, especially in consideration of the title. I thought I had the same beef with Titanic, but in retrospect, boy was I wrong. I never thought a movie could make Titanic look so good, and while I complained about the Leo epic to anyone who would listen during its own hayday, way back in the 90s, I would have been satisfied if WTC were even HALF the movie. Half. All I kept thinking was "where the hell is everyone else?"

I'm not saying that WTC was all bad. It was interesting to see how stunned people looked as they were being evacuated, (probably as a result of lack of oxygen and shock), as I'd imagined it would have been far more chaotic. The scenes other than those focusing on Will and John were watchable (save for the ludicrous flashbacks resembling a Hallmark commercial), and about fifteen minutes in through to the end of the first hour, I was tense and riveted. In addition, of course, it would have been far worse if the director and producers had gone over the edge and capitalized on the horror of the event for our viewing entertainment, especially seeing as it only occurred 5 years ago. I also understand that they had to keep an even balance between capturing the enormity of buildings' collapse and presenting the footage as delicately as possible (as in, honing in on a single high heeled shoe among the rubble rather than a couple bloody cadavers). However, this story is a big one. Huge. Way more important than Titanic, War of the Worlds, Independence Day, and every other blockbuster out there featuring disaster. This was fucking 9/11! Therefore, Oliver Stone should have taken a few risks to deliver the good movie that this deserved to be, when instead he took no risks whatsoever. The only reason that I teared up is because the images were a painful reminder of that terrible day huddled in front of the TV, trying in vain to grasp all the sorrow and fear the attacks left in their wake, and that is NOT what good filmmaking is all about! That's like using a quote in an article without introducing or explaining its purpose. The fact that the movie was based on a true story should have merely enhanced the level of emotional provocation. I admit that the lack of political stance was somewhat refreshing, but the movie itself was so benign in its characterizations and so insistent that we walk away without a shadow of a doubt that good really did come out of the tragedy that I found it offensive. Essentially, it led me to believe that I am not the demographic for which the film was intended, and thus I cannot recommend it to likeminded individuals.

Anyway, whatever. I really like both Maria Bello and Maggie Gyllenhaal, so that was cool.

Good night, and would anyone care to offer me a job? Apparently I have to get one.

Carbs be GONE.

Is this better?

Guess what?

Yesterday was a carb free journey, except for two margaritas. Whoops, though I hate how alcoholic beverages (besides beer, of course?) have to be carbs just like practically everything else. Whoever made up this whole "low carb" thingy went too far with it if you ask me. Ah, if only it were the 80s again. We're back in terms of fashion, (even hair, so they tell me) so why not dieting? Low-fat vegetarian dishes like primavera pasta with a nice salad and veggie bagelwiches with minestrone soup.

Now anything that isn't grilled chicken or fish or basically any kind of meat and steamed vegetables/salad is O-U-T. Or else, nothing, nothing at all. Seriously, I learned that there's this diet where people eat nothing all day long, every day. These are the standards with which I have to compete. Not fair. Absurd.

While we're at it we might as well bring back aerobics and the standard three piece leotard, tights and leg warmer in place of trendy, arm and leg costing millenium yoga gear. I'd wear that stuff. Believe it.